Aries (March 21 – April 19)
This week, Aries, your usual dynamism may lead you to another event promising to “unleash your inner goddess” through yoni steaming. Before you’re sitting in a cloud of sage, hovering over a hot bowl on someone’s ‘campo’, consider something simpler. What about gathering your friends (of all genders) for a homemade dinner? Fresh produce from the ‘huerta’, a nice bottle of Rioja, and the same ‘erbs in your actual food. This will avoid the risk of unfortunate burns!
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
It’s mushroom season, Taurus, and your natural affinity for nature has you itching to go foraging on the sierra. By all means, pick a few fungi, but watch that you don’t accidentally poison yourself with the wrong varieties. It’s easier to head to the Costa Tropical and relax at a ‘chiringuito’ with a plate of grilled sardines. Or just go into a local bar and eat the ‘tapas’, some of which already contains mushrooms…
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Your curiosity knows no bounds, Gemini, but before you agree to that Bufo toad ceremony, claiming to recreate a “rebirth”, think carefully. Perhaps you’d be better off engaging with a more earthly experience, like exploring the Thursday market in Órgiva. This can connect you to the local area without the risk of losing the plot.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Cancer, your nurturing side tempts you to join a circle worshipping the sacred rose, where you’ll be invited to “embrace the divine feminine.” That’s great, but perhaps the divine could also be found through a visit to Capileira? Heading directly above the town, a hike on Mulhacén, provides perspective, with no weird chanting. And there’s plenty of flora and fauna to explore up there.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
You’re a natural leader, Leo, and this week your charismatic energy might draw you towards the latest ecstatic dance session at a local ‘finca’. While you’re free to express yourself through wild, uninhibited movement, remember – there are other ways to let loose. Check out a reggae event run by a local sound system. Here, you can skank to some dub elements. Plus, no one will expect you to bare your soul through interpretive dance.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Virgo, your love for order and improvement has you considering a class on “human redesign.” Before you commit to rearranging yourself, take a moment to breathe. Why not plan a trip to Granada, where you can check out the impressive design of the Alhambra instead?
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Balance is your calling, Libra, but sometimes it’s hard to find it amid invitations to join women’s circles and commune with plant spirits. You don’t need to align your chakras to achieve equilibrium. How about heading down to Motril for a day? Some retail therapy, lunch at a ‘chirungito’, and a walk along Playa Granada (where dogs are allowed) will make you feel grounded. Besides, there’s less chance of being roped into a tedious meditation session.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
This week, Scorpio, your investigative side might lead you to a biodanza workshop that promises to unlock your emotional depths. Before you dive headfirst into primal movements – or grasp random people who might not have showered – consider a different form of expression. Why not visit an exhibition run by a local artist, where you can convey complex emotions about the artworks, without having to get “up close and personal”.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Your adventurous spirit has you eyeing a retreat focused on “channeling starseeds and extraterrestrial energies,” Sagittarius. Before you try to contact beings from another dimension, how about heading to a local rave instead? You can dance until dawn (or later), enjoy positive vibes, and still enter another dimension, if you want….
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Capricorn, your sensible nature has been challenged by the idea of barefooting in town to “reconnect with the earth’s vibrations.” While there’s nothing wrong with the occasional barefoot walk, it tends to upset store owners. Also, you can easily tread on broken beer bottles, fag butts, and dog poo in the street. Why not focus on more practical pleasures? A day trip to the Alpujarra Alta (with sensible boots) could do the trick. Stock up on local honey, buy a cheap rug, take in the mountain views… or just sit in the bar with ‘unas cervezas’.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Aquarius, you love being on the cutting edge, but sometimes you land into curious situations – like signing up for a sound bath to “cleanse your personal frequencies”. Instead, consider a trip to Granada to check out the nightlife and the bass bins.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Your dreamy nature means you’re intrigued by the prospect of communicating with sacred ancestors and explori